Hey guys,
I will admit, ever since kayden was born it has been hard to get that special one on one time with Curtis. For the first few months ( who am I kidding, it was more like a year) i was sleep deprived. By the time Kayden was through all of his sleep regressions and was sleeping through the night ( he still wakes up occasionally) i felt free. Ohh and lets not forget how he freaks out if i touch Curtis!
Keeping the romance and spark alive can be difficult. Curtis works till 8pm and doesn't get home till 9pm. By that time, i am exhausted from my day with Kayden and I am ready to shower and hit the bed. Throw in keeping a toddler occupied all day and running errands on the weekend, quality time/romance seems like the furthest thing on my mind. We both have made a conscious effort to make time for each other, even if it is not easy.
A lot of people ask me, how do we stay connected, especially when curtis is gone for 11 hours a day. I will admit, it is hard. But the past few years, I have realized that it is the small things that go a long way and help your partner feel connected to you.
Whenever we have gone through tough times, or dealt with crazy work schedules we always have made an effort to remind each other how much the other person means to us. I don't mean it in a cheesy 5 page letter kind of way. Sometimes it is a simple text saying ' I know work isn't always easy, and this week has been tough. Kayden and I appreciate everything you do, we love you and are proud of you' it is easy to take for granted what we do (our roles) that we forget to remind the other person how much we appreciate them.
As much time as we spend apart, and i know this will sound crazy, but we give each other their special time. Curtis loves football, so I make sure he is able to watch his team (Dallas Cowboys) in peace. I try to keep kayden occupied and even give him a bath and put him to bed ( if its a night game). I am completely different, i just want to shower in peace, that is the only thing I need daily. Curtis also senses when I need a break, and will give Kayden a bath/take him to the park. We all need to our 'own time', to keep sane. I believe there needs to be balance with home, work and individual time. I want us to do separate things that we enjoy, so we do not loose ourselves and our passions. It also gives us a chance to recharge.
I love taking Kayden and Buddy on walks. I always feel like I am killing two birds with one stone. It is not often that Curtis gets to do it with us. He was on vacation for the past 2 weeks and we did it almost everyday after dinner. It is a nice way to feel connected as a family. We discover new trails, parks and get in some exercise. It allows us to be off our devices , and connect with each other. Kayden is so into the scenery that we usually don't get interrupted. This is one of the activities we did when we didn't have a lot of money. It allowed us to get out of the house and made us feel like we were doing something ( if that makes sense). We loved it so much, that we have kept it up. Since we don't get a lot of time together as a family (by the time Curtis gets home, Kayden is in bed) this is a great activity. Find something you can do with you and your partner/family. It is so important to find something in common.
Curtis and I also love our special one on one time together. We open a bottle of wine, light a candle and put on a good show. Sometimes we even sit back and just chat about life and our future. It is nice to reconnect when Kayden is in bed and everything is quiet. We love being at home, so this is our ideal evening. We usually get this luxury on a weekend if Kayden goes to bed on time. Find what works for you and your partner, and how you can spend that special one on one time together with minimal disruptions.
I know you are wondering, don't you guys go out one on one? The answer is no. And it is not because we are afraid to leave Kayden. We just don't have anyone to leave Kayden with. That is one thing I do envy about other couples, is the amount of help and support they get from their parents/families. So if you have it, use it!
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