Hey guys,
As kayden has gotten older it is becoming more and more evident that he is shy. As a child i was the same way. I remember questioning whether or not i was dealing with kaydens shyness efficiently. I tried to think back to how i was as a child. I was so embarrassed whenever my mom tried to push me to talk to others or made a scene about it. I slowly see kayden warming up to people faster, so i decided to share my tips.
1. A few days before we are going somewhere i always talk to kayden about it. I tell him where we are going, who will be there and what we are doing. After 2 or 3 days kayden starts to tell me we are going to go there. This allows kayden to know what is going on. He is mentally prepared for an outing and i am able to ease his mind.
2. The day of and the car ride over i let him know that we are attending the event. I know this sounds redundant but it all adds up in Kayden's head. We have talked about going somewhere for a few days and now we are actually going! Kayden is usually excited and cant wait to get there.
3. Once we arrive i never push kayden to much. We all say hi and i encourage kayden to do the same. I never make a big scene if he doesn't but rather i act like its no big deal. Sone may think this isn't a good idea, but i remember when i was a child my mom use to make a big scene about it. I was so embarrassed from that alone i didn't want to talk to anyone. I never want kayden to feel the same way. Usually by the time we leave he is so comfortable he waves goodbye and gives hugs.
4. I let kayden warm up to people at his own pace. Honestly it doesn't take long. He watches for a bit and when he feels comfortable (usually 10 minutes max) he will go and play. I never want kayden to feel like im forcing him to join in or make him feel bad for holding back. I watch at a safe distance so he knows im right there if he needs me, but also give him space to do his own thing.
I never tell kayden he is shy. I don't ever want him to feel as though he is in a box or that he is doing something wrong. This may be a phase with him, or it may be part of him for life. Either way there is nothing wrong with that. Curtis and i are complete opposites, he is outgoing and will talk to anyone. I take a little longer to warm up people, but then i don't stop talking. I want kayden to know its okay, and hopefully he sees our dynamic and knows that. I do chat with people when we are out and about, and i heard that's important. When your child sees you interacting (as small as it may be) with the cashier, waitress, people at the Park etc. Children follow by example, even though they may not chat the next person up, it opens up their eyes to the idea of it.
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