The past two weeks have presented a lot of changes for my family. My boyfriend works night shifts now at a new job, and a lot of things have been hectic and different. I will admit, I cried. I know this will sound silly, but regardless of how our days are, we always went to bed together, and whenever I wake up at night, I roll over and he is there. My night has changed completely. I use to always be scared of taking care of Kayden at night, not because I don't think I am capable but rather the bond that Kayden and his father have. Curtis is able to walk into the room, and put him back down with ease, if Kayden has had a bad dream, whereas for me it takes much longer, mostly because I can't hold him for a long time, or a position that is comfortable for my back is uncomfortable for him. As difficult as these last 3 nights have been, I learned a lot about myself, and about being a mother. I can put Kayden down with ease, I need to stay calm and remind him that I am here for him, and there is nothing to worry about. Kayden and I have our own special connection, that as a mother I always questioned. There are times I felt jealous of what Curtis and Kayden have. Sure my days are a lot lonelier with Curtis sleeping, but I reevaluated myself. I have made mistakes in the past week, but as the quote said, i said 'oops'. Curtis is going to gain great work experience in the next few months, and open up a new field for himself. Kayden may have to play a little quieter, and I will do a lot more then I usually do, but we never have to wonder if Curtis could handle these new responsibilities. I will gladly take on more, to ease the stress for my boyfriend. Let's challenge ourselves to step outside the box, and face our ears, for whatever that may be, a new job, new roles or even a new life.
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