Hey Guys!
I have heard lots of claims by professionals about whether or not you should argue in front of your kids. I don't know if there is a right answer, but I will let you know what my boyfriend and I have decided to do.
I am sure there are times when you disagree with your spouse, and you just cant hold it in, and you cant wait to address the matter. My boyfriend and I will usually hold our tongues until later. Where we can fully dedicate our attention to each other, and really speak our mind without the interruption of a toddler, or without feeling like we need to hold our tongue. This is what my boyfriend and I do 98% of the time. I believe this is the most effective, it's not to hold our tongues in front of our son, so he believes we are perfect people who get along constantly. But its to prepare us for the future, where you have adult conversations in private, and don't burden children with these ideas. Children don't have the ability to remove themselves from the situation, which means they tend to believe they are the reason that you two are having problems/they could've done something to help resolve the issue.
Of course there are times when we will have disagreements in front of our son. And we do so in a respectful way, and that's what is important. Its not about yelling at each other, or screaming profanities. We keep our tone calm, and we address the issue swiftly and efficiently. These issues consist of minor things such as a tone that was used, or what the other believes should be done. It isn't a major issue. Our goal is rather to get into the habit of familiarizing Kayden with these disagreements to teach him what a healthy relationship is. We do not yell, and I can not stress that enough,. The reason I know this, is because when he has heard yelling from someone else he gets scared, he cries and yells, and doesn't know what to do. This reassures me that we haven't let our emotions get the best of us, and we continue to be a great example for him.
I do believe that children do need to see disagreements in a respectful healthy way. It's not about being right but rather acknowledging your faults and asking for forgiveness and being able to give it. Respect is the main thing throughout this whole process, regardless of what happens in the end.
I have heard lots of claims by professionals about whether or not you should argue in front of your kids. I don't know if there is a right answer, but I will let you know what my boyfriend and I have decided to do.
I am sure there are times when you disagree with your spouse, and you just cant hold it in, and you cant wait to address the matter. My boyfriend and I will usually hold our tongues until later. Where we can fully dedicate our attention to each other, and really speak our mind without the interruption of a toddler, or without feeling like we need to hold our tongue. This is what my boyfriend and I do 98% of the time. I believe this is the most effective, it's not to hold our tongues in front of our son, so he believes we are perfect people who get along constantly. But its to prepare us for the future, where you have adult conversations in private, and don't burden children with these ideas. Children don't have the ability to remove themselves from the situation, which means they tend to believe they are the reason that you two are having problems/they could've done something to help resolve the issue.
Of course there are times when we will have disagreements in front of our son. And we do so in a respectful way, and that's what is important. Its not about yelling at each other, or screaming profanities. We keep our tone calm, and we address the issue swiftly and efficiently. These issues consist of minor things such as a tone that was used, or what the other believes should be done. It isn't a major issue. Our goal is rather to get into the habit of familiarizing Kayden with these disagreements to teach him what a healthy relationship is. We do not yell, and I can not stress that enough,. The reason I know this, is because when he has heard yelling from someone else he gets scared, he cries and yells, and doesn't know what to do. This reassures me that we haven't let our emotions get the best of us, and we continue to be a great example for him.
I do believe that children do need to see disagreements in a respectful healthy way. It's not about being right but rather acknowledging your faults and asking for forgiveness and being able to give it. Respect is the main thing throughout this whole process, regardless of what happens in the end.
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