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Sleep Regression Frustrations

Monday 6 June 2016
Hey Guys!

So about a month or two ago, we officially completed our 18 month sleep regression. It was the most exhausting and frustrating thing we had gone through with Kayden. It is true what you read online, it is the toughest sleep regression you will go through.
Kayden had sleep regressed in the past, around the time he started teething was the first time. I vowed the next time it happens again, I will be strong and firm. that didn't happen. The last sleep regression I was home by myself, since my boyfriend worked till 9pm, which meant I spent hours trying to get him to sleep, only for him to wake up an hour later. This time I was lucky enough that my boyfriend was coming home earlier.
Part of why the 18th month sleep regression is so difficult is because they are aware of more things and are able to do more. They can stand, play, roll over, walk etc. Claims have also been made that separation anxiety can kick in again (which is what happened).
Kayden would scream if either of us left the room, and he would cry for hours. I remember it being 2 hours and he would just cry and cry and cry. We would stay up till all hours of the night and tried every single thing I read online. We would give him a snack then try putting him back down, letting him play, keeping him in his room etc. Nothing seemed to work. I finally just gave up, and spent a week or so waking up with him, which meant he started off his morning at 3am! Yes you heard me, some nights I wouldn't go to bed till 6am! I was exhausted, I felt like I had a newborn all over again. I would give Kayden his breakfast, and then let him play. He didn't even make it to snack time, so I would read him a story and he would fall asleep. There were nights I would cry to myself, and wondering why my family wouldn't help out. I can tell you all this, once you come out of it, you feel so much stronger as a parent. We got those odd nights, where he would sleep through the night, but for about 6 weeks our household was miserable.
This is when my solution came in: Regardless of what time Kayden decided to go to bed, I was going to stick to a firm wake-up time. I didn't care how tired I was, or what happened the night before, Kayden was going to have to learn to adjust. There were nights when he got 4 hours of sleep, but at nap-time he knocked out cold. It was tough for a week, at the most, but his body adjusted. This was a lifesaver for us! Kayden only got one nap a day, and what he decided to do with this time, was entirely up to him. I know this may sound harsh, but keep in mind we tried everything for 6 weeks.
Today Kayden gets  bath at 5:45pm, and his bedtime story is at 6:45pm. He wakes up at 6:45am and is down for a nap around 10am. He is so well behaved and we rarely have problems at night. There is the odd time that he wakes up, but it is only if his room is cold or he had a nightmare. It takes a few minutes for him to go back to bed, and he honestly just wants to be comforted. He now knows that he is not getting out of bed, and expects us to soothe him and put him back down. When I saw soothe him, it is not rocking him back to sleep. Soothing for us is reaffirming that we are here, it is night time and we love him. He tell him to lay down and say "night night" sometimes we pat his back for a minute or so and he falls back asleep.
Looking back I do wish that I had done this earlier. But I do believe I had to go through my frustration, and sleep deprivation to come to this point. All baby's are going to go through a sleep deprivation, but it is how you deal with it, is what matters. What has worked in previous regressions isn't necessarily going to work on the next one, which is what to keep in mind. If you have friends/family that have gone through this previously, you can always consult them. Unfortunately my family close by isn't hands on, and don't really help out with him, which is why I resorted to the internet. But what is important, is to always listen to your heart. You know what is right for your child, and what will work when. Regardless of what anyone says, you know your child better then anyone.
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